Halloween Kills: A Brutal And Brainless Bloodbath
The citizens of Haddonfield are flung into a crazed panic in David Gordon Green’s latest installment in the Halloween franchise. True to its name, Halloween Kills delivers some hardcore horror violence, but it also nearly shatters the excitement Green’s 2018 film ignited. It’s a fiery mess that manages to be mildly entertaining, despite its many odd decisions.
The saga of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode continues in the next thrilling chapter of the Halloween series.
Slashers, old school or modern, tend to fall into two extremes; they’re either too stupid, or they’re painfully self-aware, and more often than not, they tend to fall under one extreme. Finding a happy medium in this fairly one-dimensional horror sub-genre can be harder to find than you’d think, but David Gordon Green’s 2018 Halloween, which de-canonized past sequels and followed up Carpenter’s original, did a pretty decent job of finding some middle ground. It wasn’t a perfect film by a long shot, and it suffered from some silly narrative choices (as many slashers do), but it at least acknowledged the silliness of the Halloween franchise directly: that Michael Myers only killed three people, which isn’t the biggest deal when a teenager (or any other shooter) can take out four times that amount in the blink of an eye with a single clip.
Sadly, any shred of refreshing self-awareness gets brutally gouged by Halloween Kills, a mixed bag of slasher thrills that’s bloody and brainless in equal measure. The film picks up directly where the 2018 film left off. The wounded Laurie and her daughter and granddaughter have hitched a ride with a truck (a la Texas Chain Saw Massacre) and are headed over to Haddonfield hospital to treat Laurie’s wounds. They thought they had vanquished Michael Myers once and for all by trapping him Laurie’s burning house, but alas!, some fire fighters show up to do what they do best. They accidentally help Myers escape, and he promptly sends his thanks by murdering them one by one before shuffling off to walk about town.
Even though the 2018 film made it seem as though Laurie was the only one traumatized by Michael’s 1978 killing spree, Halloween Kills introduces us to a Haddenfield that’s equally as charged up over Myers’ Halloween homecoming. As soon as the Haddonfield barflies, including Tommy Doyle, Lonnie Elam, Lindsey Wallace, and Loomis’ former assistant Marion Chambers (who apparently never decided to leave), hear that Myers is back on the prowl, they’re immediately up in arms and lead the town on a manhunt for the elusive 61-year-old superhuman shape. Laurie sits in a hospital bed for most of the movie (because the writers didn’t know what to do with her), while characters new and old attempt to track down Myers to finally rid themselves of his evil.
It’s a silly, messy, flatline of a narrative that borrows from some of the previous entries it overwrote (specifically Halloween II and 4), but it still has some entertainment value. There’s some well-made flashbacks to the 1978 original that thankfully do not trample on its greatness (which feature Jim Cummings as a cop), there’s some nods to other films in the franchise (like the masks from Season Of The Witch), there’s some of the most brutal kills that the franchise has ever seen, and the score, reimagined by Carpenter himself, goes as hard as the kills. The Myers home also gets a gorgeous remodel (thanks to Big John and Little John, the film’s best characters) in the film’s strongest bit of set design. The writing majorly undercuts a lot of the film, but if you’re able to laugh at its ludicrously absurd, over-the-top seriousness and self-righteousness, you’ll have some hearty chuckles. Ideally, Gordon Green and his writing partners Danny McBride and Scott Teems should have just done Halloween II again minus the blood-relation twist, but they opt for a silly, heavy-handed direction that morphs the mythology in head-scratching ways.
Overall, Halloween Kills honors the stupidity of the slasher genre. It gives us quality kills, but it takes itself way too seriously to deliver any quality camp (at least intentionally). It makes many bad choices, but its biggest misstep is trying to pretend that it has something topical and relevant to say, which are evident from Jaime Lee Curtis’ painful press appearances. It’s definitely a step backwards from Gordon Green’s previous film, and it’s going to make for one weird finale, but we’d be lying if we didn’t say we weren’t a little curious with how they’re going to wrap things up. If it’s not good, another filmmaker will come along and erase everything so we can do the whole evil cycle over again.
Recommendation: If you don’t mind the stupidity of slashers and are a fan of gore, give Halloween Kills a watch. It’s not a great film, but it should satisfy your bloodlust.
Rating: 2.5 neck wounds outta 5.
What do you think? We want to know. Share your thoughts and feelings in the comments section below, and as always, remember to viddy well!