I Now Feel Empowered To Take Anything On: Rachel Harrison Gordon On Her Short "Broken Bird"
Rachel Harrison Gordon is an MFA/MBA candidate at NYU Tisch/Stern and a Sundance 2020 Blackhouse Fellow, whose interest in storytelling evolved through pursuits of perspectives in journalism and in Government. Her semi-autobiographical directorial debut, Broken Bird, focuses on a biracial girl struggling with her culture and identity, whilst being days away from her Bar Mitzvah.
Birdie, a biracial girl raised by her Jewish mom, spends a rare visitation day with her father while preparing for her Bat Mitzvah. They share a meal; she overcomes her doubts, and decides to risk inviting him back into her life. Birdie confronts what independence means as she steps into adulthood on her own terms.
We had the opportunity to chat with Rachel about her film, its origins, reliving the past through cinema, coming-of-age films, and much much more!
I feel like most films are personal to the filmmaker in some way, but this one is really personal to you because it has roots in your actual life experience. Was it hard reliving — or reshaping — your past?
Absolutely. It was hard to see Birdie as a compelling character others would watch, and I was very critical of her experience, asking myself “is this interesting?” Part of me was worried about being selfish or egotistical. Occasionally people’s knowledge that it was semi-autobiographical was a distraction — providing feedback is harder when the person is trying to decipher what is “real.” But their response to it, and how the film has resonated with such a variety of people, has confirmed and validated that the world needs these stories, and my voice can help share them. I’m proud of my vulnerability, and what I exposed myself to, because I now feel empowered to take anything on.
Did you learn anything new about yourself over the process of making this film?
This is definitely what I want to be doing. I’ve experienced other fields and have no regrets, each of those experiences has an impact on my stories and characters — but this is where I want and need to be. It is a huge weight off my shoulders to feel like my heart and external life are aligned. Working in film has calmed a restlessness that was impacting my well-being.
In addition to the film being very personal, it’s also your first film. What were some challenges you faced or obstacles you had to overcome as a first-time director?
Every step of this was new. I learned so much. The time on set was overall easily one of the best and happiest experiences I’ve ever had, challenges and all.
I was very sure of many aspects of the filmmaking process, but often deferred to the people around me. Some had my best interests at heart, some didn’t. There were moments I had to make tough decisions, to keep the tone on set safe and good for our cast and crew, and I am proud of those choices.
I learned that I shouldn’t be intimidated by “expert” titles or resumes, and should always listen to and articulate my hesitation in the moment. I will always be receptive and eager for collaboration and help, but have also learned to be protective. Trust is a difficult subject for me — and a major theme of the film. I often fluctuate between having my guard up, and learning how to delegate.
How has your background in journalism and Government affected your approach as a storyteller?
I learned a ton from my exposure to a variety of fields and perspectives. I had certain expectations of institutions, and those perceptions changed as I got more involved in those spaces. Sometimes, this can be a disappointing experience — the phrase “never meet your heroes” comes to mind — but I also think it’s wonderful to get context of what the world looks like, what jobs people do, what their passions are, in order to get a sense of how to build yourself. Without exposure to many things, there’s the risk of self-limiting, and only replicating what you are shown.
It felt like a brave choice to leave places for new adventures, but I’m glad and proud that I knew when I was ready to. I was eager to settle into something consistent, and find my long-term career, but needed to take the time to pursue what felt right.
What is it about coming-of-age stories that appeal to you on a personal level?
I pursued “grown-up” films because they portrayed situations I was observing around me, but weren’t being discussed in the shows directed to people my age. The coming-of-age category is fraught with stigma and oversimplification, so it is frequently overlooked, not taken seriously.
Kids are capable of processing a lot. I want to tell stories that may be difficult and serious but also provide something hopeful to think about. Resilience and familiarity are related, and I want to help those who can empathize with these stories by making coming-of-age films that treat the real problems kids face with the gravitas and sincerity they deserve.
What are some of your favorite coming-of-age films, and how did they help shape Broken Bird?
Harold and Maude, Welcome to the Dollhouse, The Squid and the Whale, Thumsucker, Virgin Suicides, Fat Girl, Ghost World... This is always the hardest question in the world. I’m interested in exploring companionship and (unexpected) connections between people. Learning from others, and learning about yourself through this connection, is a huge catalyst for coming-of-age stories in general.
Lost in Translation also feels like a coming-of-age story, in that it evokes the feeling of exploring something inside of yourself and then closing a chapter, moving onto something new. This is a feeling I hoped the Broken Bird audience would walk away with.
But with all of these movies, there is still a void of characters that I felt represented my life.
What do you hope audiences take away from the film?
I hope they take away the idea that the label of “broken” does not mean anything real about a person or their lived experiences. Birdie comes from a “broken” home, her parents are divorced, she feels like an outsider — but she is not defeated, and I hope the audience sees that she is stronger for these experiences.
The film was created as part of a school project, but has since evolved into something bigger than just an assignment. How does it feel to have your first film be so well received?
I’m so grateful. I feel connected to so many new people, including people who reach out after watching it, sharing their own thoughts and work. It makes me eager to keep going, to explore storytelling avenues like commercials and music videos. It makes me feel like I can produce the kind of work like the artists I grew up admiring, and that feels exciting. I’m eager to make more things.
You go to work with a phenomenal case, including Chad L. Coleman and Indigo Hubbard-Salk. How did you all get connected and what was it like working with them?
Professors connected me to both — Spike Lee to Indigo, and Abigail Bess to Chad. I am beyond grateful for the attention they invested to the story and characters.
I haven’t worked with many yet, but am intrigued and intimidated by actors. I feel like I keep asking myself “do they like me?” Indigo and Chad were perfect for the roles, and it felt more like connecting with members of family for the first time, super shy, but super intimate already.
The cinematography by Rashad Frett is something truly special. How did you two meet and what was your collaboration process like?
Rashad is like a big brother and is one of the most selfless people I know. We connected over our interest in coming-of-age stories. I watched his short film K.I.N.G. on a laptop in the hallway at school and cried and laughed out loud. I feel like I’ve grown closer to people by sharing our fictional stories with each other. I can’t wait to work more with my film family.
Also, I want to shout Josh Therriault who shot the hair washing and several other inserts. He is the most dedicated person to bringing out the vision, and pushing to explore variations. I’m new at filmmaking, and greatly benefitted from working with someone super open to experimenting and who also had such an array of set-building and design talent. He reminds me all the time that we can quickly make stories with tools right in front of us.
I think it’s interesting that the film was composed from a mixture of different perspectives. I am developing my own style and visual vocabulary by mixing various different sources of inspiration.
Do you have any future projects in the works that you can share with us?
I’m developing a feature film for Broken Bird, where we learn more about both of the parents’ background — but primarily the father, getting to explore stigma and intergenerational trauma, and how to process the goodness inside every moment, even moments of dejection.
I think there’s the assumption that each generation will improve on its predecessor; in many ways this is true. We think we have awesome insight in the moment, but people sometimes miss the opportunity to be good, only able to see their mistakes retrospectively. Too often we find ourselves in the same situations where society did not do better, but we do not do better this time. I want to capture some of that driving-force trauma that can create parallel hurt down the line, and the kinds of things that can make the difference.
I’m looking forward to exploring these ideas in non-traditional ways, including within VR/immersive experiences. I’m also editing a spec commercial talking about Black hair and teaching myself digital animation.
What do you think? We want to know. Share your thoughts and feelings in the comments section below, and as always, remember to viddy well!